I Can't Lie

I was thinking {probably better said, over-thinking, I do this a lot} today...

"I wonder if people think I'm just full of it?"

Like I run around blowing sunshine, pretending things are so perfect.

I ADORE my kids, my husband, my family, my neighborhood, my Savior, and the list goes on and on. 

BUT

Does the fact that I adore all these people mean that they are all perfect? And that there's nothing I could complain about? And no room for improvement from me, and lots of these people? 

Absolutely not. 

I had a moment today.

One of the instructors at Education Week, Merilee Boyack, who I adore,

read a poem called "Girl in a Whirl," by, Vicki Gunther.

It basically goes on and on about that "perfect" woman who we all compare ourselves to and abhor.

The one who seems to be on top of everything, finds time to do it all, never down, a resident "pro" at 

everything that our culture can adopt as "must-dos." That are not at all, in fact, must dos. I'll post it, sometime, but look it up. It's fabulous.

Anyway, that's when this thought came. 

 I'll be the first to admit, I am a very vocal and passionate girl. Sometimes, I'm not sure that's a great combination... 

But if I'm thinking it, feeling it, bursting over it, or really bugged about it, you'll hear about it. 

That goes for amazing days, and amazingly shizzy days, too.

So, welcome to an "UP" season in my life. It's real, I'm so grateful, 

and I would NEVER want to portray that my life is perfect, and that it's all easy, all the time,

figured out, and breezy for me. 

As a matter of fact, I have had a couple of experiences and seasons in my life

that were absolute HELL on earth. Totally, completely about did me in.

One of those seasons, I thought I did NOT have the capacity to make it through, literally.

My faith was tested, 

I mean

TESTED.

From this season, I have watched Heavenly Father use me as a tool, to be very open 

with people I love, and share my story, to assist Him in giving his precious children hope.

That even though we ALL have these horrific times, and difficult trials in our lives, 

we can do hard things.

And He is always, just always listening to our prayers 

and ready wrap us in His Divine love, and peace.

Life is a roller-coaster. Sometimes we're UP and sometimes we're down. 

And that's just the way it is. 

So, having said that, the truth is, I feel very blessed and happier than I've ever felt! I truly am becoming so much more aware of how richly blessed I am. It's interesting, because I don't "have" anymore than I've had in the past. But, I feel Christ more intricately involved in my life than ever before. And Christ IS light.

So, naturally, as I invite Him into my life more, there is more light in my life. 

So, even though there may not be any more there than before, the added light in my life, shines on things I never noticed before!

It's like comparing two identical rooms filled with the exact same stuff.

One room is pitch black, 

and the other fully lit.

Does the fact that we can't see what's in the dark room, mean it isn't as full as the other room?

Of course not.

I feel like Heavenly Father has his hand on the dimmer switch, and is gradually brightening the lights

in my life, through our Savior.

And I'm seeing the REALITY of how blessed I am.

Little corners filled with tender mercies, that were hidden in the shadows are now

glistening!

And that's the truth. 

Of course, there are always things I could complain about, of course.

But the truth is, I have SO much to be grateful for, 

so why would I sling poo?

When, instead, I am acutely aware and bursting for how blessed I am!!!

So, I could rant about something unimportant, 

or complain about my pinky toe nail. {I actually did hurt it lately, ;)}

But I KNOW the truth, and I am blessed, grateful, and my friends,

I cannot lie.

xo